Tales of the Absentee Tooth Fairy
This is so good I asked my sister if I could share it on my blog. She said yes. I nearly cried it cracked me up so much. It's the story of how the tooth fairy failed to show up at the Warner house and how all the kids reacted. The kids are Brendan (12), Cormac (10), Skye (7) Bronwyn (5).
So, Cormac has a molar, worth $2. He's put it under his pillow 4 nights in a row; told Cliff, but didn't tell me and the male version of that fairy forgot. Cormac wakes up this morning and gives me a most longsuffering look, "Mom, the tooth fairy still didn't come last night."
So since it was foggy this morning, I said, "Cormac look out the peephole and see if it is foggy in the front yard." "I can't see, mom." "Why, open the door and check." Wouldn't you know it there was a piece of paper stuck to the door covering the peephole which said, "Dear Cormac, I ran out of cash last night. I'll be back tonight for your tooth. The Tooth Fairy." Rolling of the eyes. Male tooth fairy can't stop laughing in the kitchen and female tooth fairy is feeling brilliant.
Skye says, "I don't believe in tooth fairies," oh so grown up like. Makes me sad.
Bronwyn says, "Wow, the tooth fairy was here at OUR house. She has pretty handwriting, mommy. I wish I had teeth to leave under my pillow. I love the tooth fairy," with wonder and joy in her eyes. Melt me. Our last little believer.
Cormac: "I'm hoping the tooth fairy has cash tonight."
Bronwyn: "Mommy, do you think you could leave a note for the tooth fairy and ask her if she has any extra money because I really want some money. I need some money" with tears squeezing out.
Skye: in sobs...."I"m only going to give the tooth fairy two of my teeth. I'm saving the other one (we've been keeping them in a ziploc until she's felt brave enough to part with them). But I really don't want to give my teeth up (absolutely falling apart)"
So I enlist Brendan who says to his sister: "Skye you know what? Teeth turn into peanuts and so every time you see people eating peanuts you know that those are all the kids' teeth of the world." She looks at him in horror. I burst into giggles and kick him out of her room.
Skye sobbing: "I don't think $1 is enough for my tooth. I don't think I want to put them under my pillow." "Yes, you can do it darling, just go to sleep quickly and then you'll find all sorts of money under your pillow." And I slip out.
10 minutes later she comes down the stairs sobbing..."Daddy, I can't do it." Cliff encourages her and they come up with a plan...to take a picture of the teeth so that she can remember them her entire life. He takes a picture of her trying to give them up. She's trying so hard to smile. Then he takes a picture of the teeth. She quiets down and agrees to go to sleep. Bronwyn is fake whimpering in her bed because the tooth fairy won't take on charity projects like her po' li'l self.
I have 8 quarters in each pocket. A pocketful for each child once sweetly and blissfully asleep. It kills me that the one who truly believes in the one who won't receive anything tonight.