T-minus five to the 2012 Olympic Games

I am an Olympian

Will it be Michael Phelps or Ryan Lochthe? Will "Dream Team 2.0" or the "World" take the basketball finals? Will Lolo Jones make it cool again to be a virgin? Will the Jamaican men's 4X100 sprint relay crush the record again? Will (Jordyn) Wieber fever vanquish (Justin) Bieber fever? Will Bradley Wiggins' win at this year's Tour de France portend a British medal haul? Will Sebastian Coe and Co. deliver a stellar opening ceremony or will it be corny?

And what's up with the American uniforms being made in China, while the Russian ones are being produced in the US? (FYI: cost of each US men's outfit is $1,915, while the women's outfits are ironically cheaper, tallying at $1,473.)

Whatever the answer to these questions, Phaedra and I ready to forfeit two weeks of our life to plunge into the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat that marks the 2012 Olympic Games. All we need is a TV. Or significantly improved internet service. Or neighbors with a Plasma. But dissertations can wait. Food can be ordered in. Emails can sit tight. And artmaking will have to occur while we watch morning, noon, night, and midnight broadcasts of the drama unfolding around the city of London.

In honor of the greatest sporting event on planet earth, here are a few videos to fire up the blood pressure at unhealthy but bearably high levels as we count the days down to Friday evening. Consider this your one-stop shop for Olympic (advertising) inspiration.

We start with a homage, courtesy of the film director Alejandro González Iñárritu, to the sacrifices that all parents make on behalf of their children. (Then Blythe's maiden Olympic swim.)